This Could Get A Bit Messy
by Ssorian
Summary: Tak meets Sly meets Daxter meets Ratchet and Clank. Enough said.
1. Chapter 1

Tak meets Sly meets Daxter meets Ratchet and Clank

Note: This could get messy…

Chapter 1: Haven City, Abandoned Warehouse, 8:01 p.m…. 8:02 p.m.

Daxter fell through the ventilation shaft directly into a heap of soot, sending a gray cloud up around him. Coughing violently, he brushed off his sleek orange and yellow fur, and stood up. Unsheathing his swatter, he peered through the darkness…

"Oh, buggies… Where are you?"

Seeing a stack of crates a little to the left, he changed nozzles on the bug spray container strapped to his back, pointed it down, and released the trigger, sending a spurt of flames from the tube… The flames carried him high into the air, up to the top f the stack where he released the nozzle, and dropped cleanly into a crouch…

Now, that was better, he could see the whole room from here… and even better, it was empty! Great, he was finished here. Now all he had to do was take the bug orbs he'd collected back to headquarters where he'd… Wait… He spotted something in the corner of the room…

"Hellooo… What's this?"

Hopping down from the crate, he scurried over to the other side of the room… He was sure there'd been movement… He backed against a crate… and cocked his spray gun… He pressed against the box, heart beating heavily, and scooted toward the edge… He peered around the corner…

Just what he'd thought… bugs… Three of those icky little beetles… He'd make short work of them. Spinning around the corner, he barrel rolled into the midst of them, hosing them down with toxic green bug spray. Stunned, but only momentarily, the bugs twitched, but didn't attack. Daxter laid waste to them with his swatter, smashing one, back flipping and coming down hard on another, hopping back, pulling out the nozzle and incinerating the third.

Now he was finished. He collected the three golden orbs and pocketed them… He turned to begin looking for an exit… and that's when he saw it.

It was a portal gate… no doubt about it.

"Must be the way outa here!"

Only problem… it wasn't activated… and looked like it hadn't been activated in… oh… never… Now what?

Something twitched in his fur on his shoulder… Darn fleas… He picked it up… Oh, not a flea.

"Oh sorry buddy."

He gently stroked his strange glowing speck of a sidekick.

"Hey… you think you could…"

He put the little creature down on the portal control panel.

"Do your stuff, little guy!"

The little speck hopped down onto the disused control panel, and sparked happily as it brought life to the ancient machine.

With a bleep of achievement, it hopped back up into Daxter's waiting hand, and buried itself amongst his fur… as with a whir, the portal sparked and came to life in a swirling vortex of blue and white.

"Finally! I'm outa this dump!"

Daxter hopped into the plasmic mixture… and was gone…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Starship Phoenix, Hangar, 1401 hours… 1402 hours…

A sleek red ship entered the Hangar bay doors, faltered slightly… and nose dove into a patrol of droids before skidding across the tile, sending sparks showering around the corridor.

The hatch popped open… Ratchet crawled over the edge and slid down the side. Clank hopped off after him, activated his copter mode, and descended slowly to the ground.

Ratchet examined the sparking remains of the patrol… "Oops… Sorry guys, thought it was on autopilot."

Clank shook his metallic head slowly, "It doesn't have an autopilot"

Ratchet shrugged it off, "Oh well."

Loud heavy footsteps resounded around the hall… and there, escorted by two droids, came Commander Quark… and his monkey.

Quark frowned, "Sparky and Claw!"

Ratchet looked around casually, "Who?"

Quark scowled, "Don't play games with me, Claw! I want a status report from the Ebsal Vector immediately."

"But… we were just out for lunch."

At this point, the monkey grabbed a fistful of Quarks hair, and to the commander's dismay, yanked it free, put it into its mouth… and chewed happily.

Quark winced in pain, "Ow! Bad monkey! Give that back!" he said, stuffing his fist into the poor creatures mouth and withdrawing a dripping blonde lock of hair.

Without second thought, he slapped it, saliva and all, into the bald spot on his head, and turned back to the short orange creature before him… "Who are you?"

Ratchet shook his head, "Never mind… C'mon Clank."

He led his robotic companion down the hall, up the stairs, and to the left… Straight ahead and… directly into a locked door. Quark hurried after them, "You! With the ears! Your not admitted down here!"

He halted behind them, "Oh, hey Ratchet, Clank… Where'd those other two go!"

Clank tilted his head, "My sensors indicate the presence of no other life forms in the immediate area."

Quark scratched his head. The monkey imitated. "How'd I get down here?"

Ratchet turned slowly… "Why's our door locked?"

Quark sniffed, "Sorry about that! Let me just unlock it for ya."

He pulled the key out of his pocket… hesitated… and put it back in… turned around… and strolled off.

"Quark!"

He turned.

"Where are you going!"

"Who are you?"

"Just unlock the door for us!"

"Oh… right. I'll get right on that."

Once again he approached the door… examined it… and shook his head, "Sorry, can't allow you in there."

"And… why not? It's our room."

"No… it's the room of…" his voice faltered, "evil…"

"Riiight… evil… Sure… Now can you let us in?"

"Never." He pulled out the key, "And only I got the key! So don't go and…"

Ratchet pointed down the hall, "Quark! Look! An intruder!"

"Do you really expect me to fall for that?"

"No… I… Quark! Look! A shiny penny!"

"Where!"

He spun around, dropping the key. Ratchet snatched it, and dove on the door…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Outside the PupununuVillage, the JuJu Shrine, highsun…highsun and an inch.

Jabulba shook the mystic rattle, in what he hoped to be a mysterious manner, as he hopped around on one foot… dancing around Lok, who sat in the center of the shrine… tied to a log… Tak watched from a safe distance, sitting on a big rock, slurping the juice from a fruit.

Jabulba ended the ritual with his big finale, somersaulting onto the log, hopping on one foot, then the other, then whacking Lok over the head with the rattle.

Tak stood uncertainly… "Did it work?"

Lok rubbed his sore head tentatively.

Jabulba bit his lip… "Only one way to find out… Lok… What is the meaning of life?"

Lok smiled… for he knew the answer, "Cheesecake!"

Tak knew it was too good to be true, "Nope."

Jabulba sat down heavily… "But… it worked last time…"

Tak shook his head, "Last time, you performed it on a fruit."

Jabulba nodded vigorously, "Yes, but after the ceremony it was a much smarter fruit."

Tak motioned to Lok, "Incase you hadn't noticed, he's no fruit."

Lok licked his arm… just to be sure.

Jabulba, who hadn't heard him, continued his ranting, "Such an intelligent fruit it is. I even keep it in my hut, so it'll give me wisdom in all I do…"

Tak swallowed… "In your hut?... On your desk?"

Jabulba nodded, a faraway look in his eyes, "Yes. How'd you know?"

"Uh… lucky guess?" A bit of fruit juice dribbled down his chin, and he slurped it back up quickly.


	4. Authors Note

Authors Note

Sorry guys, but there won't be any further chapters until I get some reviews! I'm working hard on these stories, and I want to know how many of you appreciate it. Okay? Thanks! Ssorian!


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